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She was busy.I brushed her hair back. She smiled, so beautiful. “Marry me,” I asked again, now for the fifth time.“No.”“Then tell me why not. We’re happy. We love each other.”“You’re not ready.”Frustrated, I said, “Enough with the not ready, honey. Tell me why!”She smiled softly, reached out and caressed my jaw. “When you can go into Addison’s room, then you’ll be ready.”As much as it hurt to hear it, the truth hurt even more. Kimber was right. I’d avoided Addison’s bedroom, forever closed, my way of avoiding painful memories, shut away in a corner of my mind.I was happy, yet the ghost of her hovered. While Kimber slept, I wrestled with fear. Opening her bedroom would open memories I had pushed down. I’d never faced the loss, accepted, the prospect terrifying me. I could never forgive myself.Maybe Kimber was right. Maybe she was far, far more insightful than I gave her credit for.I slept restlessly, tossing and turning so much Kimber complained. She was bright and energetic in the. ''Listen... Mia. What you did was not wrong. It was... suicidal. I... I was just angry... Reasonably angry, because I was afraid something would happen to you...After what you did? I'm just glad Braun listened to me, for once.''She nodded, her eyes still averted, as if to keep him silent and contented with her mute approval.He stopped and breathed in, deeply. His hand reached over the dashboard console, and found hers. He started playing mindlessly with her fingers, rubbing and squeezing them in his clenched fist.He sighed heavily, and leaned over the divider, and planted a soft kiss on her forehead, as his other hand softly wrapped around her neck. When he released her, she could only whisper, in a hurt, soft raspy voice, ''John...''He leaned away, and conceded, in a defeated but caring tone, ''I care about you, Mia. More than you know...''She was about to answer, her own admission of guilt. ''I c...''But he stopped her, with a dry assertive order, ''Go get some sleep. We have work.
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